“You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result” Gandhi

I am sure most will not agree with me when I say that it has been a long and arduous winter. When I say this I am not talking about blistering temperatures, or perilous driving conditions.  I do not speak of long hours spent toiling away at some difficult and mind numbing job just to scrape by, but rather I speak of the failures I have experienced in the past few months.  

I do not wish to make anyone feel pity for me, but I want to just merely state that my naivete in believing that wanting to do something good for someone else would in turn ultimately result in the act of doing good for someone else.  

I was wrong.  

I have learned that I can not force good deeds.  I can not bring an idea to a group of people, with every good intention, and believe just because I see the beauty and practical implication of what I am saying, that they will go along with it.  I can not convince any one of anything, whether it be the true color of the sky, or the actual existence of God.  But faith alone must guide them.  

'Practicing what one preaches' is where the practical application of faith goes astray.  It is easy to say that one must merely have faith in order to exist happily in this world.  I believe that the human mind does not work this way, and if God did not want me to question what was right and wrong for me, then I would not have been given the choice to do so.  

I struggle with this concept every day, especially when dealing with people.  I try and have faith that everyone is motivated to do things for the greater good, instead of personal gain, but I know that is just simply not true.  On the other hand I believe there are many good people, who live virtuous lives, trying their best not to do wrong, but have never really put much thought in to how much of a difference they could make.  The fear  of being put in to a situation that can not insure their complete and total comfort and safety hinders them from truly living.  I can say there have been many times in my life that my fear of harm has overpowered my faith.  Every time I go climbing outside I become so afraid of the possible things that could go wrong that I never fully accomplish what I set out to do. But then some times I think 'why does this one act scare me so much, when so many other things I do every day are life threatening?!'  I drive in my car, I drive my car while texting, I get in airplanes, I eat junk food, processed sugar and other foods that have been linked to cancer, I lay out in the sun simply because I like to be tan, I drink alcohol, etc., etc.  There are so many things in life that are lurking around every corner just waiting to kill me, so how can I possible cope?  This must mean I at least have some inkling of faith that no matter what happens things will be okay, and when it comes to weighing my options of finding some happiness in taking small risks, or simply living- I choose risks, and some I choose for the greater good and out of love and compassion I have for zami'm. 

As Gandhi would say:

“The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world's problems”

Last night i was driving in my car and on the radio a man was talking about letter's that Abigail Adams wrote to her son John Quincy Adams.  The man was talking about how as Christians we must be willing to let our children explore the world in a way best suited for them, and have faith that no matter what happens to them everything will be okay.  In the letter Abigail is writing to her 9 year old son who has just taken a voyage across the sea to France where he will be for the next few years for his education.  She writes about how, as a mother, she is very concerned for the safety of her child, but knows that the opportunity for him to acquire the best education possible is the right thing to do, and she hopes that he will take advantage of his education, and learn as much as he can in the time he has alloted.  Some of the things she wrote really resonated with me, and I quote "It is not in the still calm of life, that great characters are formed" She says that sitting idly by waiting for something to happen will result in more waiting and she goes on to say "The habits of a vigorous mind are formed in contending with difficulties. All history will convince you of this, and that wisdom and penetration are the fruit of experience, not the lessons of retirement and leisure. Great necessities call out great virtues. When a mind is raised and animated by scenes that engage the heart, then those qualities, which would otherwise lie dormant, wake into life and form the character of the hero and the statesman."

Now I write all of this in order to convince you of my undying faith in what God is helping me to do in Haiti.  When I went there the first time in 2009, my mind was animated by scenes that engaged my heart and woke in me the need to do more for those that I love.  Now what I am not saying is that YOU must join me.  My passion and convictions are not your own.  I write this to inform you that you can do better.  I can do better.  There is always more that can be done to improve things in the world, and when I first realized this I started with simple acts like opening a door for someone, or picking up a piece of trash.  We can always do better, no matter what has motivated us to do so.