Last Chance!

Hey everyone!  Everything is falling in to place, and a group from UK and myself will be headed for Haiti in less than 3 weeks!  This means this is your last chance to help us out before we go!  I have been working hard trying to make tons of bracelets and I am ready to sell them to whom ever is ready and willing to buy! Please just send me a quick e-mail or message on facebook telling me the color, and size of bracelet that you would like to buy, and I can send them your way!  (And if you just want to send me a donation because you believe I will do good with it, then that's cool to :)

Thank you so much everyone for all of your encouragement and support, I hope to hear from some of you soon!

"American" problems

A few nights ago we were watching a comedian on television, and he started going on and on about the silly things people get mad about. For example he told a story about how he was on a plane and when the first boarded the plane the flight attendants had announced that they would have privilege to use wi-fi. Now at the time he was on the plane this was a brand new service, and he was all excited, and amazed at how well it worked, and then something happened and the wi-fi malfunctioned.  So the flight attendant made an announcement that they had had a technical difficulty with the wi-fi, and it would no longer be accessible for the duration of the flight.  Suddenly everyone on the flight was angry, and complaining, and the guy sitting next to him started commenting on how unbelievable it was that something like this could happen!  So then the comedian goes on to tell the rest of the joke about how he thought the miracle was that they were able to fly magically through the air, and in what used to take years to get from New York to Los Angelos now only took a matter of hours!

So eventually the whole point he was trying to make was that us Americans have what he called "American" problems.  That our privileged country could not see the difference between a real hardship, and the so called problems we have that inconvenience our very easy-to-live lives.

And I believe he is correct.  Even as I write this I am incredibly annoyed by the large dog trying to lay in my lap.  How could I possibly be annoyed by an animal that is just trying to get a little love and attention?

Now this is not the first time that I have had to check my self and realize that what I was getting so upset over, was merely a minor detail rather than a catastrophic event.  It has been nearly 5 years since my Dad died, and believe me, I have had a lot of time to ask 'Why me?' and think about how horrible life can be.  But from all of that I have tried my best to be more positive.  I am definitely not saying that life is a Bowl Full of Cherries, and I am sure most of you who have met me, or spent any time around me in the past 5 years knows that I don't walk around with a big old smile on my face ALL the time, commenting on how wonderful it is to be here.  Perhaps most of my reflection is inward, and I simply just try and remind myself that I have had worse days, and the people i have met in the last 3 years have pretty much lived what most of us would consider a life time of Hell.

I am pretty sure most of you know I am talking about my friends in Haiti, when I say the people I have met in the past 3 years.  But if you could only hear some of the stories of the things some of the children I have met have had to deal with, you would know that there are bigger problems in life and those 'less fortunate' have done a much better job coping than any of us could ever even begin to try.  And the losses that they have accumulated have not only happened since the Earthquake in 2010, but have been happening their entire lives.

When greeting someone in Haiti I think it is custom to ask that person some basic question, depending on the time of day.  For example when you are greeting someone in the morning you generally begin with 'Good Morning', 'How are you?', and 'How did you sleep?'. Now I often get asked questions like 'Did you eat?' and 'How is your health?'  But almost every day someone is sure to ask me 'How is your mother?' and 'How is your father?'.  So one day I was walking along with one of the younger boys and he asked me this 'How is your mother?' and I said 'she is fine' and then he asked 'How is your father?' and I said 'I don't have a father, he is dead' (I know it sounds a little blunt, but I am saying this in creole, and I am not sure the nice ways to say things like that so I just said it)  So this little boy absorbed what I said, and with hardly any remorse, he asked me the next question as if it were the most obvious of ways to die. 'Was he shot?'  I was obviously taken aback by this question, and I simply said 'No, he was sick' and the boy said okay.

I have always been affected by the casualness of this conversation.  But then I started to think about stories I have heard about what some of the kids have gone through. I certainly don't know this particular boys story, but it's suffice to say that being shot, especially in some neighborhoods of Port Au Prince is a more common occurrence.  By saying all of this I don't want to scare you, especially if you have been to Haiti are considering taking a trip, but I just want to point out that death, and starvation, and slavery, and rapes, and all the scary things that we try so hard to protect ourselves from are a reality in a great deal of the world.  Things happen every day that are unimaginable to us, and we are simply too ignorant to know what is really going on, or too scared to learn the truth.  Regardless, us Americans, Canadians, most Europeans - us upper- middle class, and even a great deal of lower class in these countries are too preoccupied to really notice a genuine problem from a simple inconvenience.

I will always get angry.  I will always find things that are unimportant, but equally annoying.  But I just hope that I can do my best to realize when I am overreacting or just simply remember that things could be a lot worse.

“You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result” Gandhi

I am sure most will not agree with me when I say that it has been a long and arduous winter. When I say this I am not talking about blistering temperatures, or perilous driving conditions.  I do not speak of long hours spent toiling away at some difficult and mind numbing job just to scrape by, but rather I speak of the failures I have experienced in the past few months.  

I do not wish to make anyone feel pity for me, but I want to just merely state that my naivete in believing that wanting to do something good for someone else would in turn ultimately result in the act of doing good for someone else.  

I was wrong.  

I have learned that I can not force good deeds.  I can not bring an idea to a group of people, with every good intention, and believe just because I see the beauty and practical implication of what I am saying, that they will go along with it.  I can not convince any one of anything, whether it be the true color of the sky, or the actual existence of God.  But faith alone must guide them.  

'Practicing what one preaches' is where the practical application of faith goes astray.  It is easy to say that one must merely have faith in order to exist happily in this world.  I believe that the human mind does not work this way, and if God did not want me to question what was right and wrong for me, then I would not have been given the choice to do so.  

I struggle with this concept every day, especially when dealing with people.  I try and have faith that everyone is motivated to do things for the greater good, instead of personal gain, but I know that is just simply not true.  On the other hand I believe there are many good people, who live virtuous lives, trying their best not to do wrong, but have never really put much thought in to how much of a difference they could make.  The fear  of being put in to a situation that can not insure their complete and total comfort and safety hinders them from truly living.  I can say there have been many times in my life that my fear of harm has overpowered my faith.  Every time I go climbing outside I become so afraid of the possible things that could go wrong that I never fully accomplish what I set out to do. But then some times I think 'why does this one act scare me so much, when so many other things I do every day are life threatening?!'  I drive in my car, I drive my car while texting, I get in airplanes, I eat junk food, processed sugar and other foods that have been linked to cancer, I lay out in the sun simply because I like to be tan, I drink alcohol, etc., etc.  There are so many things in life that are lurking around every corner just waiting to kill me, so how can I possible cope?  This must mean I at least have some inkling of faith that no matter what happens things will be okay, and when it comes to weighing my options of finding some happiness in taking small risks, or simply living- I choose risks, and some I choose for the greater good and out of love and compassion I have for zami'm. 

As Gandhi would say:

“The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world's problems”

Last night i was driving in my car and on the radio a man was talking about letter's that Abigail Adams wrote to her son John Quincy Adams.  The man was talking about how as Christians we must be willing to let our children explore the world in a way best suited for them, and have faith that no matter what happens to them everything will be okay.  In the letter Abigail is writing to her 9 year old son who has just taken a voyage across the sea to France where he will be for the next few years for his education.  She writes about how, as a mother, she is very concerned for the safety of her child, but knows that the opportunity for him to acquire the best education possible is the right thing to do, and she hopes that he will take advantage of his education, and learn as much as he can in the time he has alloted.  Some of the things she wrote really resonated with me, and I quote "It is not in the still calm of life, that great characters are formed" She says that sitting idly by waiting for something to happen will result in more waiting and she goes on to say "The habits of a vigorous mind are formed in contending with difficulties. All history will convince you of this, and that wisdom and penetration are the fruit of experience, not the lessons of retirement and leisure. Great necessities call out great virtues. When a mind is raised and animated by scenes that engage the heart, then those qualities, which would otherwise lie dormant, wake into life and form the character of the hero and the statesman."

Now I write all of this in order to convince you of my undying faith in what God is helping me to do in Haiti.  When I went there the first time in 2009, my mind was animated by scenes that engaged my heart and woke in me the need to do more for those that I love.  Now what I am not saying is that YOU must join me.  My passion and convictions are not your own.  I write this to inform you that you can do better.  I can do better.  There is always more that can be done to improve things in the world, and when I first realized this I started with simple acts like opening a door for someone, or picking up a piece of trash.  We can always do better, no matter what has motivated us to do so.